Faith, Foundation 2019

Getting Over My Scripture Inferiority Complex (Foundation 2019)

Posted on January 23, 2019January 23, 2019 by Tori

This post is part of my Foundation 2019 series. Read why I chose “Foundation” as my word for the year here.

For the longest time, I had a serious inferiority complex when it came to my knowledge of Scripture and I felt like I didn’t know how to study it “the right way.”

Even though I’ve been a Christian since I was 8 years old, I didn’t grow up going to youth groups and church camps. I went to a public university and didn’t participate in any campus ministry (unless beer-fueled theology debates with non-believing fraternity guys count, in which case I retract my statement because I totally did that).

I operated with this image that other Christians my age had been through all this indoctrination that I hadn’t (and did not care to, by the way, but that’s a whole ‘nother story), in the process steeping and marinating in scripture and theology, giving them a knowledge that I wasn’t anywhere near having. I pictured them atop this pedestal of piety high above little old me- and I’m quite certain a few of them had the same image, I might add.

Honestly, I wasn’t entirely wrong. Many other Christians my age were indeed attending Bible colleges, involved in campus ministry, running those same youth groups I had never even attended, and they undoubtedly knew way more about Scripture than I did. I mean…it wouldn’t even have been hard to know more about Scripture than I did at that point.

What I was very much drop-dead, stone-cold wrong about was the inferiority complex it gave me and how I let it keep me from even beginning to study Scripture. For years, those insecurities and feelings of “not-enough-ness” stood between me and getting into God’s word.

When I tried to go to a Bible study and saw the woman next to me open a Bible filled with highlighted passages and margin notes, I looked at my own unmarked Bible and saw failure.

When I dove into difficult passages and struggled to connect with and understand what I was reading, my insecurity told me I must be doing it wrong. Wasn’t I supposed to be finding God-breathed epiphanies on EVERY SINGLE PAGE? I’m sure *insert person who I thought was better at the Bible than I was here* does every single time. Sigh…

And so, I would quit. Nobody wants to keep showing up for something that just reminds them how sucky they are every time. It’s why I avoid spin class.

But, here’s the thing: insecurity and feelings of not being enough come from where, class? That’s right, the answer is “Satan.” Say it with me, “The feeling of not being enough always comes from Satan.”

What an absolutely perfect plan for keeping folks from getting into the Word of God: let’s convince them that it’s too hard, they aren’t smart enough, it’s too late, other people know more than they do, etc., etc. It’s a double whammy of separating them from GOD and making them feel horrible about themselves. Well played, Devil. Well played.

And yes, indeed. I let the enemy of my soul successfully stand between me and the Word of God FOR! YEARS!

BUT, NO MORE! NO MORE, I SAY!!!!

A knowledge and pursuit of Scripture is an inextricable part of the Foundation on which my life needs to be built. It’s a key ingredient in the mixture of concrete that my proverbial house is built on- without it, my life could crumble at the slightest bit of resistance.

So this year, pulling on my proverbial Big Girl Britches, getting over myself, and telling the Enemy that he can absolutely suck it, the truth I will find in the Word of God will shout down his lies once I get into it anyway so I might as well just ignore them.

The truth is that any study and/or reading of Scripture is good. There are tons of different ways to do it and we shouldn’t let this idea of “good enough” vs. “not good enough” stop us. Yes, there are ways that have proven to be effective for generations. There is new and “cutting edge” stuff that is just now available to us, like listening via apps on our phones and watching YouTube videos unpacking the text. As we get into the process, we will find that some methods work better than others for us based on the way God has each of us wired and what phase of life we find ourselves in.

But any effort we give it, any choice we make to devote our time and attention to the study of God’s Word is the right thing to do. It’s holy, sacred, and will bear fruit.

Life-changing epiphanies are not necessarily waiting on every page for us, at least not every day, and if we don’t feel moved by the Holy Spirit on a daily basis it doesn’t mean we are failing. Some days, it’s just the DISCIPLINE of doing the work that matters, it honors God when we power through on the tough days.

We also cannot underestimate the importance of just building our familiarity with Scripture. Every time we read a passage, a chapter, a story, it gets logged our memory bank and helps build a working knowledge of Scripture that God can use. A friend or pastor may say, “It’s like Joseph and Potiphar’s wife, when he ended up in jail and God redeemed it” and you’re like, “YES! I READ THAT STORY!” and you can totally get what they’re saying in a way you couldn’t have otherwise.

My word count is quickly mounting, so I think I’ll take my leave here. There is much more to say, much more to share, and there will be time for that in future posts.

But for now, I want to send a huge hug to anyone who has ever felt like I have, like the study of Scripture is intimidating and a little defeating, and encourage you to take a deep breath and take those first brave steps to sending that lie packing. It is true that Scripture is big and imposing and layered and complex and at times shrouded in all sorts of mystery. But it’s a lie that you can’t study it. It’s a lie that it’s too late to start. It’s a lie that God doesn’t have revelations and truths waiting to reveal to you, just for you, exactly the way He made you.

Amen.

Faith, Foundation 2019

FOUNDATION: My Word for 2019

Posted on January 16, 2019February 16, 2019 by Tori

Have you ever done the whole “Word for the Year” thing? The practice is a variation on the traditional “New Year’s Resolution,’ except rather than choosing a habit or behavior to change, you choose a single word to be your guiding focus for the year. If you’re really interested in digging into the concept, there’s a woman named Ali Edwards who has turned it into an entire program with courses and resources and whatnot, you can find all that here:

https://aliedwards.com/projects/one-little-word

My people on social media, both the influencers I follow and the folks I know personally, are super into the whole thing. December and January find my feed thick with posts declaring how folks have made the previous year’s word manifest in their lives and sharing what word they’ve got locked and loaded to change the landscape of their lives in year to come. Some have even gone so far as to get their word tattooed on their actual bodies.

I’ve regarded the practice with a mixture of admiration and skepticism. I’ve even tried my hand at choosing a word the past couple of year, my efforts yielding decidedly tepid results.

This year, it’s different. This year, I’ve got a word, I’m all about my word, I’m proud of my word, I’m posting on social media about my word, and while I probably won’t get my word tattooed anywhere on my person (you’re welcome, Mom) by the end of this year, I will probably have at least considered it. It felt like that word chose me this year. It came bubbling up out of the depths of several different things that our loving and patient God has been working me through over the past months and years.

My word is “Foundation.”

And by “Foundation,” I mean what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 7:24-25:

²⁴“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.

The Son of God did not stutter or waste words, he picked the words he spoke to us with intent. In His three decades of walking among us humans here in this fallen world, Jesus had both witnessed and experienced what it’s like to be human. Elsewhere in scripture, he promises us that in this life we will have trouble because he had seen it and lived it. He knew firsthand exactly how much real life can feel like trying to keep the walls up and the roof on our proverbial houses through an onslaught of rain, floods, and wind.

The slow, soaking rains of illness, financial trouble, anxiety and depression…the shifting, influencing winds of the opinions of others and the value system of the fallen world that does not reflect God’s vision for us…the flash floods where a word or a phone call brings us to our knees…

But with those words, with that metaphor, Jesus promises us that if our foundations are secure, the rain and wind and floods cannot take us down. He promises that through it all, we will remain secure if we will only build our houses upon the Rock, make Father, Son, and Holy Spirit our Foundation.

He also goes on to say that if your Foundations are not secure in him, you can count on the storms of life being a problem. Whatever this world throws at us is going to batter us about and could level the house altogether.

Our. Foundation. Is. Everything.

So what else could I possibly focus on in 2019 but my Foundation? Everything else, EVERYTHING else, proceeds from and through that. A year is a long time, I’m sure God has other plans for me, other things He wants to teach me, other ways He wants me to grow. But in order to do those things, I’m going to need to have a solid Foundation, built on the Rock.

As I prayed and pondered this directive from God to GET MY FOUNDATION SECURE, the work has kind of naturally fallen into three categories for me:

Knowledge and understanding of Scripture.
Prayer and communication practices
God-ordered priorities

That is the three-legged stool, so to speak, I’ll be perching myself on to do the work this year.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be digging into those three concepts here on my blog, sharing a baseline for how I’m beginning to work on each of those things this year.I would love for you to join me on this journey. I’d appreciate your thoughts and suggestions about what has worked for you when it comes to anchoring your foundation in the Lord. Also, I’m an extrovert, a people person, I do my best work when I’m traveling with others, so if you feel inclined to make 2019 your Foundation year, I’d love to have you along on this path with me.

I leave you to day with the opening verse to one of the hymns I remember singing growing up:

“How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?”

Faith, Family

Beating the “October Blues”

Posted on October 1, 2018 by Tori

In my head, I absolutely love October. The chaos of school starting has settled into a comfortable routine, football is in full swing (#watchallthesports), fall decor is out, pumpkin spice candles are burning, there are no stress-inducing dates that involve buying presents or calculating taxes, it’s sweats and sweater weather- what’s not to love?

But it seems like every year, the struggle bus picks me up around the start of October and refuses to drop me off until Halloweenish. Maybe it’s the shortening of the days, maybe the let down from the fervor of September leaves me hollow, maybe it’s the fact that 17 years ago, October was the month my Neeno (grandmother) was sick and getting ready to go home to Jesus. For whatever reason, the October Blues seem to be a thing for me every year.

I get anxious, lethargic, tired, stressed out, I find it hard to sleep, little things seem larger than life, and I happiness and contentment are nowhere to be found. And it seems to happen every October.

This year, however. I’m saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH- or at least, I’m hoping I can. This year, I tell you, I’m going to try my darndest to head it off at the pass, tackle it head on, and see if I can’t use some intentional self-care skills to keep my head above water as October attempts to roll over me on its way through to November.

What follows is my pep talk and to-do list for myself. The things on this list may seem obvious, but I’m surprised at how quickly they fall by the wayside and how often I need to be reminded. I’m sharing them here for accountability and also because, just maybe, someone else needs to be reminded of them as well.

Dear Me and Also You,

LOOK IT IN THE FACE. Don’t let it creep up on you. Know it’s coming and recognize it when it shows up. Don’t let yourself get a week into feeling like someone you love died or like the walls are closing in before you realize something is up. If you have a time of year that gets to you, know when it’s coming and get ready to meet it head on like the BOSS that you are.
TAKE YOUR MEDS. I don’t care what they are: anti-depressants, seizure meds, diabetes meds, pain meds, supplements or naturopathic remedies- if someone has told you take something to make your body work better and you’ve agreed to do this, then you TAKE! YOUR! FREAKING! MEDS! We need our bodies working at their full strength and capacity, this is not the time to mess around. I will toast you with my morning thyroid med and at night with the vitamins I too often neglect.
SLEEP AND EAT. Fatigue and low blood sugar amplify negative feels like a Yamaha subwoofer to a hip-hop beat. Then, a vicious cycle kicks up in which depression and anxiety keep us up at night and squash our appetite, then everything seems worse because we haven’t slept or eaten. Plan your meals, plan your snacks, guard your bedtimes, and take a Unisom if you need it and if your doctor has prescribed you something for sleep, see item 2 above.
MOVE YOUR BODY, even if you don’t feel like it. When Mister Bummerman comes to visit, it zaps our energy and motivation and often the last thing we feel like doing is getting up and moving our bodies. But it is ACTUAL SCIENCE that exercise releases endorphins that help us feel better, and there’s also the added feeling of accomplishment one gets from having exercised, ESPECIALLY if we didn’t want to. If you can’t hit the gym, take the stairs or go for a walk or do some jumping jacks or a crazy funny 80’s aerobics video on YouTube. But whatever it looks like you, get up, get up, get busy, do it like you’re Technotronic.
CLING TO YOUR SPIRITUAL PRACTICES. If I’m not anchored, I’m adrift. I need Jesus at the center even to get through the good days. And yet, when I’m struggling, I do not feel like waking up early and lifting my eyes to the hills where my help comes from. I also do not feel like lifting my heart and voice in praise or even talking to God during the day, I’m usually rather sullen and cranky and would rather sulk in the shadows. Can you relate? Don’t let whatever spiritual practices have served you well fall by the wayside. If you don’t have a battery of spiritual practices to draw from, this is a great time to start. Head over to my friend Julianne’s website and sign up for her newsletter and she will send you three of her favorites. Doing the things that lift us up, even when it’s hard, makes the rest that much easier.
KNOW WHEN TO HOLLER FOR HELP. Self-care is all well and good, we should all practice it. But there comes a time when our needs go beyond what some good cardio and a good night’s sleep are going to fix. Maybe you feel so overwhelmed by the bad things that tackling any item on this list seems insurmountable. Maybe you have thoughts of harming yourself or others, thinking everyone would be better off without you. Maybe you’re just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Telling someone- ANYONE- and letting them push you in the right direction is a WARRIOR MOVE. For some of us, we may just need a partner, friend, or family member to step in and alleviate some of our workload to give us space to breathe. For others of us, a professional thoughts-and-feelings-sorter like a counselor or therapist can help start moving toward solutions. Still others may find our bodies need the provision of medication to regain their balance. In any event, if you have a hunch this is bigger than just the seasonal blues, say something to someone and pat yourself on the back for doing it.

So, are you with me or what? Will you hold me accountable? Will you check in with me to see if I’m doing the things I told myself to do with this list? Will you do those things as well? Whether October is your “season,” or another season is your “October,” promise me you will do all of these things, take care of yourself, holler at me if you need an accountability buddy- and real loud if you need help. We rise by lifting others, we are in this together.

Hugs,

Faith

Self-Criticism: It’s Not Humility, It’s Pride

Posted on September 11, 2018September 11, 2018 by Tori

In my whole entire life, I’ve never had anyone be as hard on me as I am on myself. Not my parents, not my coaches or music teachers, not my gym or math teachers (even though I struggled mightily with both), not my bosses, not my husband or my kids. Even in their most “tough love” moments, nobody in my life has even held a candle to me when it comes to being critical of myself.

It’s usually a surprise to people when I share that because, in general, I’m ooozing sweetness and light — especially when it comes to people’s challenges and struggles.

I’m quick to offer grace to others in their hard moments, to tell them they’re doing better than they think they are, to point out how hard their situation is and tell them that they’re doing an amazing job anyway, to highlight and elevate what they’re doing RIGHT.

For myself, there is exactly none of that. I’m constantly examining myself under a microscope, keeping an up-to-the-minute account of my mistakes and shortcomings (real, perceived, and potentially perceived by others) and doing a fun little matching exercise which involves drawing lines connecting the things that are wrong in my life (or even less-than-ideal) to the flaws in myself that could be causing them.

I’ve been convinced over the years that it’s the responsible and humble thing to do. It’s my job to keep myself in check, I don’t want the people in my life having to deal with the results of my shortcomings. Also, I would hate to be one of those people who clearly thinks too much of herself even though everyone else can see she’s a hot mess, how embarrassing. The Bible even cautions against thinking too much of ourselves (Romans 12:3). Yes, I’m certainly just being realistic and walking in humility.

But that’s the thing about our sins: they frequently show up as things we think we need, but are actually taking up space in our lives that should belong to God, excluding and eclipsing His love and grace where we need it the very most.

Do you relate to this? Have you struggled with being way too hard on yourself? Head over to the Break the Mold Ministries blog to read what God has been speaking into my heart about this and what He is teaching me about myself and His grace.

http://breakthemoldministries.org/torirask/

Faith, Family

Guest Post: A Letter to My Son At Camp

Posted on July 24, 2018July 24, 2018 by Tori

Last week, my friend Leah posted in our online moms’ group that she had written a letter to her son, who was away at camp, and wanted to share it.

I jumped at the chance to bring it here to y’all here because this letter is full of the real stuff of motherhood: the hopes, the dreams, the love, the pride, the heart-cracked-wide-open aches…I mean, if you can get through the last paragraph without crying, puh-LEEZE tell me how. 🙂

Here it is, and if you want to know more about Leah, check out her bio at the end!

Love,

Dear Son,

Right now, at this very moment — yes, even as you’re reading this — your mom is praying for you. You’re at church camp and “unplugged” for the week. But I need you to know I am praying for you. And not just this week. I am constantly praying for you.

No, I’m not kneeled down by the side of my bed with my hands clasped. It’s not Sunday morning in church. In fact, we haven’t been to church since just after your baby sister was born. But one day we’ll find our way back. I miss the music. Your Step-Dad misses shaking hands. (Lol.)

We don’t talk about it much but ever since you were small, I’ve taught you how to look for God. In a “quiet woods listening walk,” and in your sweet baby kittens’ faces, even in the tears I’ve cried every year on your birthday as you blow out your candles. My point is, God is everywhere and you can pray anytime. When things are going great in your life and you feel like you’re on top of the world…take the time to shut your eyes and whisper “thank you, Lord.” When you’re sad and frustrated and you feel like everything is going wrong, just say “Help me, Jesus.” It’s that simple.

So tonight, as I’m waiting for the macaroni to boil…or maybe just after I’ve refilled sippy cups for your brother and sister and they’re scampering away…just know that I am praying for you. Just as I always do when I get a long enough moment to catch my breath and have a thought without interruption.

I hope this week is everything you want it to be. I hope your trust and faith in our Lord deepens. I hope you make lifelong friends. And I hope you’re praying too.

I pray for you as I see the little boy features leave your thirteen year old face, and I pray for the amazing young man you’re becoming. I pray for you as you throw an arm around me for a hug, and I notice how much taller than me you’ve become in the past year. I pray for you as I fold your laundry after you’ve left this home to spend a week with your dad and I can barely hold back the tears, I miss you so badly. I pray for you when you share your deepest secrets with me, because there will come a time when you will not. And I’m SO thankful for you. And you don’t see me do it, but I always whisper a “thank you, Jesus.”

Life isn’t always easy or fair, Buddy. But I hope no matter where you go or what you do that you will always remember this:

Right now, at this very moment,
Your mom is praying for you.

Leah Moore resides in Eastern NC with her amazing family: her husband, David, and her three children, Liam (13), Laurel (5), and Sam (2.5). Between juggling SAHM duties, multiple pets, and an at-home bookkeeping business, she occasionally finds the time (late at night) to write a bit. She loves music (especially playing piano and singing), cooking, coffee, wine, and Candy Crush. Check her out on Instagram for WAY too many kid, pet, and food pics.

Faith, Family

“How Can We Help?” How You Can Help Vulnerable Children and Families, Today and Every Day

Posted on June 26, 2018June 26, 2018 by Tori

“…the call to be involved in creating justice for the poor is just as essential and non-negotiable within the spiritual life as is Jesus’s commandment to pray and keep our private lives in order.”
–Ronald Rolheiser, The Holy Longing: A Search for Christian Spirituality

“Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours”
–Casting Crowns

“‘God, why don’t you do something?’ He said, ‘I did, I created you.'”
–Matthew West

“What can we do? I feel so helpless…”

The text came from my husband as I was sitting in the shade of a green, breezy park, watching our own kids swing and run and jump and play, not a care in the world.

The pictures and video and audio of the cries of immigrant and refugee children being separated from their parents at the US border as part of immigration protocol shook us all to our core.

Regardless of our feelings about immigration and the politics at play in this situation, something about seeing all of this happening IN OUR OWN COUNTRY, ON OUR OWN SOIL, for some of us IN OUR OWN COMMUNITIES, has hit home like nothing we’ve seen before.

The reality is that this is nothing new under the sun. Children and families face trauma in our own country and around the world every day, having to walk through things in this fallen and broken world for which the children of God were never intended.

But SEEING IT AT HOME, live and in living color, has stirred us- and that, my friends, is SOMETHING.

Make no mistake, my people, God is moving here. He is ALWAYS moving, if only we know where to look, and right now we need only to look into our own hearts and the hearts of those around us to see His power at work, shaking our foundations and calling us to more.

The reason we feel the ache in our very souls for the vulnerable is because it’s woven into our DNA. We were made in the image of a Father for whom the needs of His children are paramount. This call to action in our hearts, that “What can we do?” feeling, that represents the very BEST of the nature God created in us.

The fact is that there ARE things we can do- there is SO MUCH we can do for needy children and families, if only we know where to look.

There are organizations all across our country and around the world that are addressing the needs of the most vulnerable among God’s children every single day. Some are focused on needs like the ones we are currently seeing in the national news, providing for and advocating for immigrants and refugees, both here and abroad. Others are fighting modern day slavery and human trafficking. Some are working on job creation and food insecurity, others are serving homeless youth, orphans, and foster care.

We can harness the power of this moment, the call to action we feel in our heart, not only to take action in this situation, but to inform ourselves about ways we can KEEP taking action and CONTINUE providing for and advocating and for vulnerable children and families at home and around the world every single day.

I’m beyond blessed to have friends and family who are SHOWER UPPERS, boots-on-the-ground, plugged-in kind of people who are involved in serving every day. So I reached out on Facebook and asked my people to provide me with a list of organizations they know of that are serving vulnerable children and families so that I could pass the info on to others who are feeling the urgency of the moment.

This list is unedited, I didn’t make any decisions about what to include and what to leave out because this isn’t about what I feel is valuable and important. God knit each of us together uniquely, with a calling on our hearts different from everyone else’s, knowing that TOGETHER we create His vision for wholeness and justice in our world. His call on your heart to serve is different than mine

This list also isn’t by any means complete or exhaustive, it was compiled on the fly and in response to an urgent need so my crowd-sourcing time was limited. If you know of a resource organization you’d like to share, leave it in the comments. My only guideline is that this post is focusing on serving vulnerable children and families, so any suggestions should fit under that umbrella somehow.

And my directive for you as you read this list is as follows:

Find one way to give of your time. Some of these organizations may not be local for you, but I’ll bet you could find one if you Googled.
Find at least one organization to share with others. Either post about them on social media, text message the link to someone you think might be interested
Find one to donate to- even $5. If EVERYONE gave $5 to one of these organizations, how much more POWER would they have to affect change and serve these babies and families?

Also, as always, do your homework. You can use Charity Navigator or a similar “charity checker” website to find out more about how these organizations use your dollars, ask around, comb the websites, and, of course, pray.

Your Shopping Dollars. There are hundreds of companies here in the US and abroad who are harnessing the power of commerce to create economic opportunity in vulnerable communities around the world, creating stability and jobs so that families don’t have to make the hard choices. Here are links to a couple of directories where you can find all sorts of wonderful places to use your dollars to make the lives of families across the world better:

https://www.stillbeingmolly.com/fair-trade-usa-made-ethical-brands-list-directory/

https://therootcollective.com/pages/the-ethical-list

https://shopbeautifuluprising.com/

Adorned in Grace Bridal and Formalwear Shops sell new and gently used wedding gowns, formals, petticoats, veils, and accessories. All proceeds are used to promote awareness and prevention of sex trafficking as well as crisis prevention for trafficked victims.
http://www.adornedingrace.org/

Become a Foster Family OR respite care provider for Foster Families– A quick internet search for “YOUR CITY foster care” or “YOUR COUNTY foster care respite” should point you in the right direction. It varies by state, city, and county the exact place you’ll need to look, but a search should do the trick

International Justice Mission. IJM’s mission is to protect the poor from violence by rescuing victims, bringing the criminals to justice, restoring survivors to safety and strength, and helping local law enforcement build a safe future that lasts. IJM partners with local authorities to rescue victims of violence, bring criminals to justice, restore survivors, and strengthen justice systems. We combat slavery, sex trafficking, property grabbing, police abuse of power and sexual violence in nearly 20 communities throughout Africa, Latin America and South and Southeast Asia. Our vision is to rescue thousands, protect millions and prove that justice for the poor is possible.
https://ijm.org

Preemptive Love Coalition. We’re a coalition stretching across Iraq, Syria, the United States, and beyond, working together to unmake violence and create the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible. We meet families on the frontlines of conflict, providing them lifesaving food, water, and medical care. We give them what they need to hold on and hold out. We create jobs for those victimized by ISIS. We provide small business grants, tools, and coaching so they can start again and so their families can flourish.
https://preemptivelove.org

Together Rising. Whether it’s pulling children out of the sea outside the refugee camps in Greece, helping abandoned kids on the streets in Indianapolis, establishing the first opioid recovery home for pregnant teens in New Hampshire, building a maternal health wing in Port-au-Prince, providing a single mother access to breast cancer treatment, or keeping a foster family’s heat on in Texas — Together Rising identifies what is breaking the hearts of our givers as they look around their world and their community, and then we connect our givers’ generosity with the people and organizations who are effectively addressing that critical need. Here is how they have been addressing the issue of families separated at the border.
https://togetherrising.org

RAICES. The Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that promotes justice by providing free and low-cost legal services to underserved immigrant children, families and refugees in Central and South Texas. RAICES is the largest immigration non-profit in Texas with offices in Austin, Corpus, Dallas, Fort Worth, Houston, and San Antonio.
https://actionnetwork.org/groups/raices-refugee-and-immigrant-center-for-education-and-legal-services

Catholic Charities offers a wide variety of support and assistance for children and families in need around the world, including advocacy outreach, and provides immigration information and legal translation help. Many refugee/immigrants identify as Catholic so they often reach out to Catholic Charities for help.
https://www.catholiccharitiesoregon.org/offices-programs/

World Concern is a Christian global relief and development agency extending opportunity and hope to people facing extreme poverty.
https://worldconcern.org/

Mennonite Central Committee is a global, nonprofit organization that strives to share God’s love and compassion for all through relief, development and peace.
https://mcc.org/

IRCO: Immigrant and Refugee Community Organization. IRCO’s mission is to promote the integration of refugees, immigrants and the community at large into a self-sufficient, healthy and inclusive multi-ethnic society. Founded in 1976 by refugees for refugees, IRCO has over 40 years of history and experience working with Portland’s refugee and immigrant community.
https://irco.org

Carry the Future. Be a force for action and hope and join our international community of volunteers as we unite to bring humanitarian aid in the form of child carriers, baby beds and survival items to refugee families.
https://carrythefuture.org

Southwest Key. Southwest Key is committed to keeping kids out of institutions and home with their families, in their communities. We do this through three areas of programming: youth justice alternatives, immigrant children’s shelters, and education. Southwest Key also seeks to create opportunities for families to become self-sufficient by offering programming in adult education, community building and workforce development. The inspiring kids and families we work with are seeking the American dream—equality, education, and a healthier quality of life. At Southwest Key, we simply open the doors to opportunity so they can achieve these dreams.
https://swkey.org

The Florence Project is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit legal service organization providing free legal services to men, women, and unaccompanied children in immigration custody in Arizona. Although the government assists indigent criminal defendants and civil litigants through public defenders and legal aid attorneys, it does not provide attorneys for people in immigration removal proceedings. As a result, an estimated 86 percent of the detained people go unrepresented due to poverty. The Florence Project strives to address this inequity both locally and nationally through direct service, partnerships with the community, and advocacy and outreach efforts.
https://firrp.org

KIND: Kids in Need of Defense. KIND staff and our pro bono attorney partners at law firms, corporations, and law schools nationwide represent unaccompanied immigrant and refugee children in their deportation proceedings. Together, we ensure that no child stands in court alone.
https://supportkind.org

The Women’s Refugee Commission improves the lives and protects the rights of women, children and youth displaced by conflict and crisis. We research their needs, identify solutions and advocate for programs and policies to strengthen their resilience and drive change in humanitarian practice. Since our founding in 1989, we have been a leading expert on the needs of refugee women and children, and the policies that can protect and empower them.
https://womensrefugeecommission.org

Episcopal Migration Ministries (EMM) lives the call of welcome by supporting refugees, immigrants, and the communities that embrace them as they walk together in The Episcopal Church’s movement to create loving, liberating, and life-giving relationships rooted in compassion. EMM’s desire to honor the inherent value of human connection brings communities together to love their neighbors as themselves.
https://episcopalmigrationministries.org

Safe Families for Children hosts vulnerable children and creates extended family–like supports for desperate families through a community of devoted volunteers who are motivated by compassion to keep children safe and families intact.

The three objectives of Safe Families for Children are:

Keep children safe during a family crisis such as homelessness, hospitalization, or domestic violence in an effort to prevent child abuse and/or neglect.
Support, and stabilize families in crisis by surrounding them with caring, compassionate community.
Reunite families and reduce the number of children entering the child welfare system.

https://safe-families.org/

We Belong Together aims to mobilize women in support of common sense immigration policies that will keep families together and empower women. Immigration reform is rarely thought of as a women’s issue, but in fact it is central to the fight for women’s equality. Millions of immigrant women who are part of the fabric of our communities, workplaces, and schools are blocked from achieving their full potential because of a broken immigration system. They perform essential jobs, like taking care of our children and our aging parents, and are central to family and community well-being.
https://webelongtogether.org

Feedmore. Central Virginia’s core hunger relief organization.
https://feedmore.org

Communities in Schools. Working directly in 2,300 schools in 25 states and the District of Columbia, Communities In Schools builds relationships that empower students to stay in school and succeed in life. Our school-based staff partner with teachers to identify challenges students face in class or at home and coordinate with community partners to bring outside resources inside schools. From immediate needs like food or clothing to more complex ones like counseling or emotional support, we do whatever it takes to help students succeed.
https://communitiesinschools.org

YWCA. YWCA USA is on a mission to eliminate racism, empower women, stand up for social justice, help families, and strengthen communities. We are one of the oldest and largest women’s organizations in the nation, serving over 2 million women, girls, and their families.
https://ywca.org

#HashtagLunchbag is a humanity service movement dedicated to empowering and inspiring humanity to reap the benefits of giving through the use of social media. We create and use bagged lunches, complete with love messages, as a vessel to spread this love and share our experiences to inspire others.
https://hashtaglunchbag.org

Virginia Center for Inclusive Communities. The Virginia Center for Inclusive Communities works with schools, businesses, and communities to achieve success by addressing prejudices, in all forms, in order to improve academic achievement, increase workplace productivity, and enhance local trust.
https://inclusiveva.org

CASA: Court Appointed Special Advocates. CASA/GAL volunteers are appointed by judges to watch over and advocate for abused and neglected children, to make sure they don’t get lost in the overburdened legal and social service system or languish in inappropriate group or foster homes. Volunteers stay with each case until it is closed and the child is placed in a safe, permanent home. For many abused children, their CASA/GAL volunteer will be the one constant adult presence in their lives.
https://www.casaforchildren.org

No Kid Hungry. When you become part of No Kid Hungry, you’re joining a movement of teachers, chefs, community leaders, parents, lawmakers and CEOs with a shared belief: no kid in America should go hungry.
https://nokidhungry.org

KaBOOM! is the national non-profit dedicated to bringing balanced and active play into the daily lives of all kids, particularly those growing up in poverty in America.
https://kaboom.org

Reach Out and Read is a nonprofit organization that gives young children a foundation for success by incorporating books into pediatric care and encouraging families to read aloud together.
https://reachoutandread.org

Faithful Friends is a community-based mentoring program in Portland, OR, that provides children support and stability through relationships that encourage personal growth and inspire hope. The program matches volunteer individuals, couples and families with children ages 6 through 9 for mentoring relationships. The mentor/mentee matches meet 3-4 times each month for at least one year.
https://faithfulfriendspdx.org

Big Brothers Big Sisters. As the nation’s largest donor and volunteer supported mentoring network, Big Brothers Big Sisters makes meaningful, monitored matches between adult volunteers (“Bigs”) and children (“littles”), ages 6 through young adulthood, in communities across the country.
http://www.bbbs.org

Saving Grace Maternity Home (I am blessed enough to get to serve as a volunteer and on the board here). Saving Grace Maternity Home is a residential home experience in Hillsboro, OR, for single young homeless women in an unplanned or crisis pregnancy, between the ages of 13-25. We welcome women of all cultural, ethnic, and religious backgrounds who currently live in the state of Oregon. We have the capacity to assist and house up to four women full time and there are two beds for temporary short-term stays.
https://savinggracematernityhome.org

Union Gospel Mission’s LifeChange for Women and Their Children provides a safe, healing home for women and women with children to transform their lives. If you are struggling with abuse, addiction or homelessness, we can help. LifeChange is a safe environment to heal from past traumas and to learn how to break free of destructive choices. LifeChange is not a clinical treatment “program” or a series of steps. It is an intentional Christian community where people help and support each other to break cycles of addiction, abuse and homelessness and live a transformed and abundant life in Jesus.
https://ugmportland.org/help-for-women/

True Colors Fund. Up to 40% of the 1.6 million youth experiencing homelessness identify as LGBTQ. Communities and youth homelessness service providers want to be safe and welcoming for LGBTQ youth, but often don’t have the knowledge or resources to do so – creating barriers for these youth to get the support they need. The True Colors Fund fills that space by offering free training and resources on how to meet the needs of LGBTQ youth experiencing homelessness. We also advocate in government and media to help ensure critical funding and services for all youth, and create opportunities for youth who have experienced homelessness to be key leaders in the effort to end the problem.
https://truecolorsfund.org

Door to Grace. At Door to Grace, we are bringing safe and loving family to sexually exploited children in the Portland, OR, area.
https://www.doortograce.org/

Faith

Nine Rules for Learning to Pray (Because Chris Pratt Told Us To)

Posted on June 21, 2018June 21, 2018 by Tori

Y’all. Chris Pratt.

Have you heard about this? That man stood up on the stage at the MTV Movie and TV Awards last week and basically took everyone to church, Peter Quill style.

He had “nine rules for living” to pass along that included bits about pooping at a party and giving a dog medicine, but ALSO included a promise that God is real, a reminder that we all have immortal souls, a declaration that none of us are perfect but there is grace for us that was paid for with someone else’s blood (I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!), and a directive to LEARN TO PRAY.

You can watch that speech here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EihqXHqxri0

Or just read the nine “rules” here: https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/18/entertainment/chris-pratt-mtv-movie-tv-awards-speech/index.html

But. You guys. ACTUAL STAR LORD has told us that God is real and we should learn to pray.

But, like, how? He told us it’s easy, and he’s exactly right. But, we humans are very good at taking easy, breezy, beautiful things and making them way over-complicated and bogged down with our own baggage and issues and nonsense.

Whether we’ve never actually prayed before, used to pray and have gotten away from it, or pray all the time every single day, we could all use a back-to-basics moment to help us step into this challenge handed to us straight from Jurassic World by Owen himself.

9 Rules for Learning How to Pray

It’s easy– Andy Dwyer said it, you guys, and there was no lie in him. If you can talk, you can think, you can feel, then you can pray- and do it WELL.
There is no wrong way– This is not like learning to deadlift at the gym. You’re not going to get your form wrong and pull a hamstring that injures you, God, and the entire universe. The only way to get praying WRONG is not to even try.
God is HERE for you and your prayers. God isn’t butthurt that you haven’t prayed in awhile. He’s not going to give you the side eye like, “Well, it’s ABOUT TIME you showed up.” He’s not too busy. God is not subject to the confines of time, space, and human pettiness. This Father is all grace, all love, all patience, and all about His children- aka you and me.
Start with your heart- If you don’t know what to say, just talk to God about what you’ve been thinking and feeling lately. Feeling lonely? Feeling grateful for something? Did someone or something hurt your feelings? Are you really excited about something happening soon? Are you worried? Angry? confused? down and not sure why? Tell God about it.
Bring your faith struggles– Maybe you’re not quite sure as Emmet Brickowski is that God is real. Possibly you’ve felt abandoned by Him in the past. Could be that you’ve experienced hurt, rejection, or betrayal at the hands of Christians and the church. TELL GOD ABOUT IT! That is actually POWERFUL prayer material, God knows how real the struggles are for us and wants to help us find our way through it.
You can ask Him for help– “Lord, teach us to pray.” It’s in the Bible. Twice. In Matthew 11 and Luke 6. The disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. We can ask the same thing. And you know what? God knows how to communicate better than we do, He’s strong where we are weak, He can reach down when we can’t reach up. Say, “Dad, I want to get to know you better. Will you teach me?” What Father wouldn’t jump at the chance?
I am Groot- Still don’t know what to say? Can’t find the words to express all of the thoughts and feels? God’s got it covered. Romans 8:26 says, “…we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” The Holy Spirit is Rocket to our Groot. He knows what we mean, He can translate, He can respond. If all we can muster is “I am groot…” Rocket understands. If words fail, pray anyway.
God does not condemn– God won’t say anything to you that will make you feel bad about yourself, that’s not how He operates. He will lead you to do better through convincing you of your value, not by condemning you for your shortcomings. If you start to hear a voice telling you you’re bad, you’re worthless, you’ve messed up too badly- THAT! IS! NOT! GOD! Tell that voice to sit down and be SILENT! Your Father’s voice is love, anything else is not of Him.
Never stop learning to pray– We were designed for connection to God. Our immortal souls CRAVE it, and every single day we can get better at drawing near to Him- and our lives will be better because of it. The more we talk to Him, learn about Him, cling to Him, the stronger we will get. Life won’t ever be perfect or easy, we live in a fallen kingdom and Jesus assured us that trouble is to be expected. (John 16:33) But he also overcame the world, and aligning our hearts with that world-overcoming power is something we can get better at every single day.

So have a chat with God today- I would not want to make Star Lord angry, would you? Sit back, relax, and give it a try. And then do it again tomorrow. And keep doing it.

Oh, and as for the dilemma of pooping at a party…there is also such a thing as pocket sized Poo-Pourri. You’re welcome.

Faith, Five Minute Friday

#FMF: Learning to Fly (aka Write)

Posted on June 8, 2018June 8, 2018 by Tori

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve done Five Minute Friday! Here’s the link to this week’s link-up:

http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/06/07/fmf-link-up-fly/

“I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings.”

-Tom Petty

What do you suppose it’s actually like for baby birds when they are learning to fly? When they take those first hops on the branch or in the nest, preparing to spread their wings and take to the sky like their mama bird?

Do you think instinct kicks in and they just follow where nature leads or do you think, as movies would have us believe, that there can be a bit of trepidation involved? I mean, do birds have personalities and some are braver than others? Who knows?

For us humans, learning to fly is petrifying. I’m using flying as a metaphor here, flight representing whatever we want to learn. We want people to teach us to fly, convince us we should fly, remind us of our flighworthiness. And sometimes we have those people. When I was becoming a teacher, I had a whole slew of mentor teachers, advisors, and professors walking me through the process and cheering me on.

Now, learning to be a writer at 40? Not so much. I am completely on my own. And as such, I have felt ill-equipped for this. I have figured everyone else who learns to fly must have some kind of an inside track. They must have, like, studied writing in college. Or have done it professionally. Or have folks around them who write who are like, “Yes, you should totally do this, let me give you a leg up.”

Turns out, that’s not true. As I’ve slowly made my way into communities of other writers, I’ve discovered that just about all of them feel as ill-equipped as I do. Each of them is also battling bouts of cluelessness and doubt- even after they’ve actually been published, even those who seem to me like they must be experts and have it all together.

It seems like having no idea what you’re doing is almost a prerequisite for becoming a writer. So if that’s you, jump right in. Learn to fly.

I leave you with this quote from my devotional this morning, Priscilla Shirer’s “Awaken”:

“If you’re sure you’re out of options, if you’re certain that the supplies on hand are nothing compared to the resources He’s made available to someone else, chances are you’ve not taken a second look at what’s already at your disposal. Ask the Lord to open your spiritual eyes to see how much raw material He’s provided for you to utilize in fulfilling His purposes for this moment. Don’t discount the little things. They can become blessed things if you look at them through the lens of divine possibility.”

Faith, Favorites

Turns out, Becoming a Writer is a Bit Like Training for a Marathon…

Posted on June 5, 2018May 30, 2018 by Tori

I’ve never been much of a runner. I do it occasionally, but it has never really captured me.

Writing has. My whole life, I’ve enjoyed it. I did fairly well in my writing courses in high school and college (when I decided to try, that is) and the ability to express myself “on paper” has served me well in both my personal and professional life.

A few years ago, I started this blog. I had no idea what I was doing and I’ve been writing here in fits and spurts, going around and around about whether or not this was actually what I wanted and WAS CALLED TO be doing with my time.

A couple of months ago, I decided to stop messing around and get serious. I don’t know if it was God finally releasing me or me finally releasing myself, but I finally decided to stop casually dating writing on the sly and stand up in front of my friends and family and IN THE SIGHT OF GOD make a commitment to it.

So I did. And the journey began. And I was in no way prepared for how hard it would be.

Man.

And it’s not even the writing that’s the hard part. Nope, it’s all the other sh…STUFF that comes up and makes me want to spend some days hiding in my closet with a blankie, tea, and my Bible.

If you want to avoid dealing with your own issues, do NOT become a writer. Or do anything else brave and stretchy. Because your sh…STUFF is going to come up and you’re going to have to deal with it.

Like I said, I’ve never been much of a runner- power walking is more my jam (and I do love to power walk). But I have friends who are BFF’s with running and when they talk about stepping up their game from casual morning jaunts to something like a marathon or a Ragnar relay, they describe experiencing something similar to what I’m discovering while becoming a writer.

Moving from casual running to training for longer distances means that little things are going to have a bigger impact. That ankle that starts bugging you toward the end of the third mile of your Saturday morning 5k? That’s gonna be a much bigger deal when you’ve got 23.2 more miles left to go. Having trouble sleeping at night? That fatigue is a huge issue when you’re running the distances required to train for a marathon. And you’re definitely going to have to start fueling your body better, those empty calories are no longer going to cut it.

When we stay in the shallow end of the pool, stick to quick morning jogs, or write casually for funsies, we can get by with our brokenness. Those little things that fester just below the surface can stay under the radar and for the most part, we can pretend they’re not there. But when we do the BIG and the BRAVE and the DIFFICULT, when we stretch ourselves and reach for bigger and greater things, all of a sudden those things rear their ugly heads and REQUIRE that we deal with them, otherwise they’re going to stop us dead in our tracks.

That ankle? For me that’s the comparison trap, I’m terrible about comparing myself to other people (and I ALWAYS end up finding myself lacking). The sleep issues? That’s self-criticism. I can be SUPER hard on myself and when it comes to writing, that can be absolutely crippling. The diet and empty calories? That’s me needing to be careful about how I spend my time, energy, and attention. If it doesn’t build me up, nourish me, and make me stronger, it’s gots ta go. Buh-bye.

And it’s hard work. Hard, HARD work. And often times, it’s painful and unpleasant. and it can take a long time, much longer than we would like.

But you know what? It’s good. And it’s important. And it’s even holy and sacred. We are stronger- MUCH stronger- for having dealt with that ankle and battled back against the comparison trap.

And for me, it’s all underscored by a pressing, frantic, desperate NEED! FOR! GOD! The One who created me, redeems me, loves me unconditionally, knit me together in the womb, knows my every anxious thought, The One from whom NOTHING is hidden- even the things I’ve been trying to hide from myself. Anything that deepens my need for Him, causes me to seek Him, allows Him to reveal more of Himself, His nature, and His truth to me is never a bad thing.

Like an aspiring marathoner, I have goals. Mine isn’t a finish line with a time attached, mine looks more like a book, maybe, and definitely the chance to write and speak to women and moms about our worth, our identity, our strength, and the need to FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES against the lies that Satan tries to sell us. I’m working every day toward those goals.

But even if I meet my own personal Heartbreak Hill in mile 20 of my race and don’t cross the finish line, I will be so much stronger and better for having done the work. Guts, grit, and grace are refining me, drawing me nearer to God- and it’s worth it. It’s worth every single time I curl up under the blankets and cry, “I CAN’T DO THIS!” and then do it anyway. It’s worth every time I blast “Not Today, Satan” by KB in my headphones to shout down the lies. It’s worth fixing this bum ankle and getting my daily nutrition right.

If you can relate to this post, then let me know. Because I want to be praying for you and cheering for you. Praising God and you for the courage you have to take your marathon journey, to do the brave and stretchy thing- the thing that brings up all your sh…stuff and makes you deal with it.

You are a warrior. I am a warrior. And goshdarnit, I AM a Writer.

Faith

When God Prunes Good Things

Posted on May 1, 2018April 30, 2018 by Tori

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)

Spring has (FINALLY!!!) sprung here in the Willamette Valley of Oregon. Trees are leafing out, flowers are blooming, people are sneezing, and we’ve all begun sprucing up our yards. This year, Jeff and I decided it was time to stop messin’ around and hired a crew to come in and basically lay waste to our front yard. The weeds were pulled, the grass was edged, the shrubs were trimmed. But also, some stuff that we (or the previous owners) had planted on purpose got ripped out as well, things we didn’t like, that were hard to keep up, looked messy, even things we were just kind of “meh” about. Right now, our front yard looks neat, but a little barren as it waits for whatever we’re going to do next- and frankly, we haven’t even gotten that far yet. We’re gonna plant stuff, that’s about all we know.

As I watched this process unfold over the course of a few hours on a rainy Friday morning, it jogged something in my mind, a memory of what the past year of my life has looked like. It was almost exactly a year ago that God began a process in me that looked an awful lot like what was happening in our yard that morning- and left the landscape of my life looking very similar to how our yard looked after the workers left: stripped down, a little empty, and awaiting new planting.

Over the course of the past year, God has gone on a pruning spree. People, places, spaces, relationships, endeavors: Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. And it’s not just the weeds we are talking about here, we are talking about stuff I had planted in my life on purpose- even and especially stuff HE had planted- stuff I had cultivated, nurtured, watered, and grown in a way that probably made the plants in my front yard exceedingly jealous.

And unlike the workers in our front yard, I did not get to tell God what to take out. As a matter of fact, He went for some things that I very much wanted to keep- and I fought Him tooth and nail as He took them out, digging in my heels, clinging until my knuckles were white, probably making quite the scene in the process.

I’ve prayed on multiple occasions over the years that God would do in my life the work that Jesus describes in John 15:2:

“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^a so that it will be even more fruitful.”

But when I pictured God doing the work of pruning, I pictured withered branches, failing bushes, toxic weeds, dead weight. And I envisioned it feeling good, like having burdens lifted or split ends trimmed off. I didn’t imagine Him cutting off vines that still had lush leaves, ripping out shrubs I had planted and tended and even loved. And I didn’t picture it hurting so much.

I didn’t picture Him pruning GOOD things, and yet He did. They were things that had been life-giving, iron-sharpening, and had changed me for the better in their season.

I have grieved for the things He pruned, I have experienced anger and even betrayal as they’ve been taken, and I have struggled mightily as some toxic weeds like resentment and bitterness have tried to take root in the empty spaces they left behind.

But God is always good, no exceptions. Through this season, He has taught me some new things about the times when He’s moving in ways I don’t understand.

Just because it hurts doesn’t mean it’s bad. Because the pruning didn’t feel like I expected it to, it was quite awhile before I recognized God’s hand in what was happening. As a matter of fact, there were times when I wondered where the heck God was as the landscape of my life was being uprooted in painful ways. But God is everywhere at all times and just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it isn’t holy and blessed.
Just because things were pruned doesn’t mean they were bad. Sometimes God prunes things because they weren’t good and we just couldn’t see it. But even the most life-giving things can have an expiration date in our lives, a point when it’s time for them to give way to what’s next. We don’t have to let the pruning cast a shadow on the graces of seasons past, what was good in our lives will always have been good, even after its time in our life is over.
Just because they’ve been pruned doesn’t necessarily mean they’re gone for good. Some things are gone for good or will remain permanently as a shadow of what they once were. But some things God trims so they could grow back better, fuller, and healthier. Some things need to be gone for awhile but will sprout up again when their season in our lives return. God can redeem, restore, and revive anything so I’m keeping a door open in my heart for these good things, maybe they will have their time again.

Unlike our yard, which still awaits us getting off our rear ends and planting new things, the empty spaces in my life are beginning to be filled in. Some new things are starting to sprout, some existing things are starting to expand into the empty spaces, all good and beautiful growth that was enabled by the painful pruning season. But some of the landscape is still blank, and much like our yard, it looks and feels little barren as it waits for whatever He’s going to do next. I feel like I’m only seeing a small piece of what He has planned, but my trust muscles were also strengthened through this pruning. I don’t know what He’s got planned, all I know is that He’s going to plant stuff and it’s going to be beautiful.

If this post resonated with you, check out this episode of Annie F. Down’s “That Sounds Fun” podcast featuring Tauren Wells, one of my current favorite musical artists. In it, Tauren uses the term “divine expiration” to describe the end of the season of things in our lives I can’t recommend it enough.